As imagined on a broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN:

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10. You can call "punctuated equilibrium" a scientific theory, then explain why scientific evidence for it cannot be found.

9. When a student tries to raise critical scientific questions of evolution in science class, you tell him he can only ask them in a course on comparative religions.

8. To show transitional forms in school textbooks, you just hire an artist to invent some.

 

7. You can ignore Phillip Johnson's book "Defeating Darwinism - By Opening Minds" and write your own: "Defeating Creation & Intelligent Design - By Closing Minds".

6. You can refer to books by atheists Stephen Jay Gould and Richard Dawkins as "Holy Writ".

5. If in need of spare cash, rob a bank and call it "natural selection".

4. You get to cross out the word "God" and print "Hydrogen" at Genesis 1:1.

 

3. You get to use quotation marks around the word "scientists" when writing about creationists who received their Ph.D.'s from major universities.

2. To convince the public that "Lucy" [Australopithecus afarensis] was one of man's ancestors, you fashion perfectly formed human hands and feet (and a pensive look) on a statue of a primate.

And the number one cool thing about being an evolutionist is:

1. You don't have to make any distinction between fact and wild speculation.

by David Buckna

• Should evolution be immune from critical analysis in the science classroom? by David Buckna

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